3 Tips The Therapeutic Coach Suggests While In Wait For A Mate.

There is a lot of talk about soul mates, relationship goals, and 'Bae-Cations', but what about those of us who are in the wait?

Have you ever heard that an idle mind is the devils workshop? That saying speaks volumes to being intentional with your thoughts, because what you think on, you speak, and what you speak consistently, you create as your reality. As a single person that dreams to one day have a thriving Healthy relationship, there are things that we can consider to put us on the path to having just that.


Here are 3 tips The Therapeutic Coach suggests while in wait for a mate.


TIP #1 - Be the "Bae" you want "Future Bae" to Have


Get in the habit of doing things you would do if your dream mate was there.


Personally, I had to do some self-reflection on this one! Yes! Coach T has been married before, but I haven't shared my bed for a few years now, and let's just say, "I have gotten comfortable!" Most nights, I would get in the bed without showering. I determined that my body was reasonably clean based on if I sweated a lot during the day or not.


(Warning TMI) "Attention to my female sweetness consisted of a disposable wet wipe before going to bed. (I mean, it's just me, right?) My sleep attire had been a very comfortable black shirt with a bleach stain on it… hell, it was comfortable! I mean, does it really matter? Yet, when I begin to get clear about the type of mate I am expecting to show up in my life, I ask myself what version of me does he deserve? That's when I knew I had to tighten up with some lingerie"

If 21 days forms a habit, then I had to get into the habit of showering with my smell goods from "Pure Romance" there's this honey gold oil I put on after showering that leaves me soft and smelling good enough to eat - let's be clear, that's the end game!


Let's be honest, if I didn't get into the habit now, once Bae comes, I'd be calling it sexy with a bleach stain shirt. When they present themselves, be in the habit of doing those things the person of your dreams deserves to have done. Wouldn't you appreciate the effort from them?


Tip #2 - Start enjoying yourself by yourself.


Take yourself to places and indulge in things that bring you joy - helps with connection with yourself and with your future self. Are you just waiting around and not living? What in the world would you have to talk about besides work and complaints about the past. Make yourself happy!


Get in the habit of enjoying places and things that you enjoy. Doing this will allow you to get to know "you" and allow the real "you" to be presented to them. I've always said I want to be myself fully, so it's not just a version but the real me when they fall in love. Pleasure yourself, and don't judge yourself. Also, imagine sharing those things you live with the one who loves you.

“If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.” – Audre Lorde, African born in America, writer, feminist, womanist, librarian, and civil rights activist.

Tip #3 - Watch your mouth!


What things are you saying about the gender you want to attract? "Men are trash," "Black women don't know how to be feminine,"…. Etc.


What's your commentary on the state of dating? Are you saying, "There are no good men or women?" What conversations are you entertaining? Listen, conversations, TV shows, podcasts about how love is dead, being a size six to attract this or that, everybody cheating and cussing each other out, I personally stay away from. I make it a point to affirm the positive and healthy Black relationships.


Black Love is a buzzword these days, and I am proud to support it! We create our reality through what we think and then say. So watch your mouth!



Look, I am not saying that doing all those things will magically present your dream mate to you because they are already on the way. What I am saying is doing these things positions you to recognize and be prepared for when your heart desires to come. Your behaviors and words paint a clear picture of what you believe in yourself.


Are you reading this and saying, "yeah, I've heard this before, but I have some hang-ups that keep me negative and not believing in myself or others." To that, I respond, this is a good time to sit down and talk with a trained mental health professional to help you free your mind. If what was said resonates with you,


Click my website www.TracyLifeWellness.com and book a session with me virtually or in-person (if you're in the city of Augusta, GA). We can create a course of action tailored-made for you to combat those self-defeating beliefs. Get that Bae you want!!!


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